Difficult Days

As a major career and life-change looms in the distance for me, I find my world becoming more and more turned upside down.  At work, I will begin to wind down an aggressive, non-stop, 3-year run of reviving and re-building a dying high school drama department.  When one has been focused heavily on the goal of re-building such a department, it is difficult to shift focus and begin to imagine not needing to make decisions about next year.  This is the time of year, in the past, that I begin to choose the shows we would perform next year.  This is the time when schedules are made, plans are formulated, and new ideas are sparked.  This year, I will not be making these plans.  Instead, I must make plans to enter the unknown of selling my house, moving out of state, and starting life over in many ways.  Having about a month left, I will begin the process of cleaning out my desk, packing up my teaching tools, books and equipment, and sadly, saying goodbye to some very special students and faculty members.  Of all of the jobs I’ve held in my adult life, this one is the most difficult for me to leave.

These days are truly difficult days for me, though I know making this move is the next step for me as a teacher and director.  Taking steps toward our goals are not meant to be easy.

In the mean-time, I have many projects to keep me busy – probably too many projects.  Nothing is big enough to take my mind off of the major changes happening in my life right now, and nothing can distract me from the fact that I am about to hand over all I’ve worked so hard for in the past few years.  There is a constant lump in my throat these days – and only time and this process of change will dissolve it.

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