Refining Us

It is unimaginable what we have been through in the past couple of months. It is still taking time to sink in, and it can be described like a roller coaster. We may be fine for part of the day, or maybe even a day or two in a row. By “fine,” I mean we are not basket cases filled with unbearable pain and sadness. We are at least able to accomplish the basic tasks of life (though constantly sad). Then, in a roller-coaster fashion, the intensity will hit. There is not always anything that triggers the pain, it just shows up. People often try to find ways to determine the logic behind out pain so that they can instruct us to avoid it the next time. It’s a natural reaction to pain, we want to fix it and avoid it. This may be the only instance when we cannot control or fix the situation. Short of going back in time and changing history to allow Weston to still be with us, we cannot change our situation. So we endure. We face each each day knowing that it may be tough. We face each day as life without Weston, which is not a walk in the park for us.

Erin and I feel we have taken aggressive steps toward dealing with our situation in the most healthy way possible. We have surrounded ourselves with family and close friends who have been a constant support. We have taken our time to ease back into our home, work, and church. We have reduced our schedules significantly to allow ourselves time for physical and mental rest. We have sought professional counseling as a checkpoint to maintain issues like depression and mental stress. There are many, many things we have done to cope with this loss – too many to list here.

The most important among all of these has been the time and energy we have spend in reading the Bible and praying to God. He has given us strength in times when we needed it most. He has provided us comfort when nothing else would help.

All of these efforts, I believe, in the long run will make us stable and able to carry on with the lives God has purposed for us.

There are times when this life seems like torture to me. God never promised smooth sailing in this life. We often make God out to be One who, when we believe in Him, makes our lives perfect without any pain or sorrow or suffering. Actually, there is a large amount of pain and suffering for those who trust in God. But with each trial we encounter, God has an opportunity to prove His strength and power to us. Each trial is an opportunity for spiritual growth. Read this passage from the book of Malachi in the bible:
Malachi 3:2-3 says,
“ But who can endure the day of His coming?
And who can stand when He appears?
For He is like a refiner’s fire
And like launderers’ soap.
He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver;
He will purify the sons of Levi,
And purge them as gold and silver,
That they may offer to the LORD
An offering in righteousness.

Let’s explore this idea of the refiner’s fire a little more. Here’s a story that brings to light some of God’s purposes in sending us through the fire of life:

A woman read that passage in Malachi and wanted to learn about a silversmith’s work to understand this whole “refining with fire” idea better. So she made an appointment with a silversmith to watch him while at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest, beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.

As she watched the silversmith work, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up.
He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire, where the flames were the hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot, then she thought again about the verse, that “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.”
She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the entire time the silver was being refined.
The man answered, yes, that not only did he have to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on it the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith,
“But how do you know when the silver is fully refined?”
He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy – when I see my image in it.”

To the silver, does this feel like torture? If it could feel and think – I am inclined to believe it would be torturous for the silver. As Erin and I are feeling the heat of the fire, we remember that we are in God’s hand, He has His eye on us, and He will keep holding us and watching us until He sees His image in us.

Take some time to reflect on this thought today.

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