Recently while having lunch at Panera bread, I saw a 4 year old boy that looked very much like Weston. He had some of the same mannerisms, his smile was similar, and just his over-all look reminded me of Weston. I can only speculate what Weston might have looked like and sounded like at 4 years old. It was something I was looking forward to that as a Dad – watching my son grow up.
The days and months following Weston’s death don’t really get easier. They get different, but not easier. As humans, we hate pain – we hate sorrow and we try to avoid this kind of conflict in our lives. But the loss of a loved one is an impossible event to ignore, and impossible event to “get over.” There is no getting over the event. So as I go through my life, I will always see other kids – wondering what Weston would have been like at their age.
Erin and I are surviving. This has been a very difficult week for us with Weston’s birthday, then Christmas following. Now we face New Year’s day, as we begin a new year without our Weston. It’s a hard life, and no one promised it would be easy. We still have our faith, our family, and each other – and that is enough to help us survive.
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My heart aches for you and with you. I am so thankful that the two of you are leaning on the Lord and that you have family and friends who also have faith in God. I am thankful that you have a pastor and a church family that loves you and is there for you. I am thankful that you-in the midst of this storm-are serving God not only in your personal lives, but also for the work that you do for His kingdom in the lives of others. You are such a blessing to all who know you and to many whom you don’t know.
I thought of the two of you when I read these verses:
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. ~Ephesians 5:1-2
You are always in my prayers!
Love,
~Tosha